Roses, chocolates, cards, cakes, Jewelry and a piece of clothing, make one feel warm and happy when you get them from that special someone for Valentines day! Picnics, lunch, dinner, piggy back rides (my favorite), or anything special to do with that one person for valentines day is amazing. Yes TV commercials, Facebook posts, shop advertisements are all about how to get the perfect gift for your love or where there will be good service for love birds. Its like the world weirdly assumes everyone has a plus one. If you don’t have a plus one this is one of the most trying, annoying, awful did I already say annoying time of the year. but It doesn’t have to be you know? Well, I would like to share what I have learnt from being single for a while, I know, I am not an expert but I am approaching my mid twenties, and it’s no joke being single when most people expect you to have a significant other,also, when all your close friends have a plus one (not loyal).
Okay let’s start from last valentine’s, Well, last valentines was hard for me I cried my self to sleep, true story, (well, if you read my posts you know I do that quite a lot) anyway, last valentine’s, I was officially almost a week single, my then relationship ended on the 8th of February, being a perfectionist, I had already bought presents and made plans for my then plus one. When valentine’s day came I got dolled up for work, it was torture why I went I don’t know. I got to work and high school seniors were selling roses, and cards. Being valentine’s day people I was surrounded with were receiving love messages, presents and hugs, I was hearing all the ‘awww, he is so sweet’, ‘she is a keeper’ kind of phrases. There I was, just trying to get through the day which is so hard to do when you have a freshly broken heart by the way. I put on a brave face and thanks to my sweet friend Livinia, who was on my side like glue and answered the annoying ‘what did he get you for valentines?’ question, not that I blame people for asking me, well, they completely had no idea my relationship had lost its will to live and they had no clue the daggers they were throwing at my heart by asking me this rather annoying question. Eventually, I got through the day with a limp but managed to not shed a single tear until I got home. I had no text, no phone call, no friend to keep my mind busy, nothing, I was stuck with valentines presents for a guy and a reality that I was single and had a broken heart that needed to heal before the next guy. honestly, I thought being with someone would make me numb to this pain and had someone asked me out around this time I would have definitely said hell yeah. (don’t judge me)
That was last valentines for me, sadly, this will be a reality for someone this valentine’s, just a side note, a broken heart really sucks but time truly heals and God is able and amazing. My friend Humphreys said: ‘if you are alone this valentine don’t be worried you will die alone anyway. so take it from him and stress less about being single on valentine’s day. On the real though being single is not a bad thing, sometimes it’s what you need to be to know what you need out of life. I have spent this whole year learning a lot about myself and about God. So if you are single like me this valentines what do you do? do you get swallowed in self pity and think ‘nobody wants me?’ Well, it really is all up to you if you wanna do that, but here is a thought that might help.
Being single on valentines doesn’t mean nobody wants you,there is someone that God specifically made for you and that someone wants you and will always want to be with you. As John Legend sings ‘out of all the girls you are my one and only girl.Yes you might be surrounded by friends that have plus ones but the truth is you are not the only single person in the world, there is lots and lots of single people out there,and stop acting as being is such a horrible thing to have happened to you. You can do this. seriously, you can do this with God and friends.
An idle mind is the devils workshop, there is so much you can do, other than wallowing in self pity. being single is the perfect time to serve God, serve your church, I know this because once I started to put my focus on God, how I can serve him and how I can serve my church my heart started to heal, I understood how only God can fill the void I felt in my heart. See, during this time I felt like my heart was shattered, all I wanted was to rip it out of my chest, I guess that’s why I felt like being with anyone would numb the pain, which was totally stupid by the way. Seeking God, like really seeking God opened my eyes to things that I couldn’t see about myself and about God. It changed my focus from wanting to heal so much to being sensitive to what God was doing in my life.
Honestly, Suck it up!! okay maybe that’s harsh but you can’t always think of when the next guy is gonna come along, let it go, do something with you, something you love, you can’t be waiting for prince charming to come along and then maybe you will start to live, uh no, go for the things you have always wanted to do, like play the piano okay that me but you get the point. We all need to learn to love ourselves a little more, here is the truth, God loves you so much that He cares about the tiniest details of your life. If you don’t believe me, believe this: ’16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’ Ephesians 3:16-18. His love is more than we could ask or imagine. His love is big, He calls us loved, special and forgiven. He loved us so much that he gave his only son for us.
We need to know we are loved by him above all else, His eyes sees our sins but He still loves us. We need not to worry we just need to relax and let him take the wheel. I know what you might be thinking ‘easier said than done’ well, trust me, I know what it means to feel unwanted and wanting so bad to be with someone but at the end of the day I realized that nothing is gonna fill the vacuum I felt in my heart but God alone. It is only the love of Jesus that will help you love yourself the way that He loves you. Appreciate the fact that God spent a little more time on creating you and I. There is going to be someone,someday who will love you just the way you ought to be loved. Seeking God when you are broken makes sure you don’t miss your lessons for the season you are in and that’s amazing because it entails that you are being placed exactly where God wants you to be and nothing could go wrong. Yes, its gonna, suck and hurt but you have a bigger God who can turn things around just at the blink of an eye, so why stress over something that you can’t really change? Pray this day to know what God wants you to learn when you are at the place of brokenness. Pray He directs your steps, Pray you are content with where He is placing you at the moment. It’s the most beautiful place to be because it’s where grace will keep you. So this valentines put on your best make up, hold your head up high, smile, and pray thanking God for this season that you are in as single person. He gat this, He always has. xxxx