If you are a hip hop fan then you have heard Json’s Secrets part 1,2 and the interlude, then you have an idea why am writing this but if you haven’t heard them, lemme spare you the trouble of googling all three by sharing what the interlude says, here goes;
“Thirty three percent of the girls are molested before the age of eighteen
A common symptom of sexual abuse is post traumatic stress
More than sixty percent of pregnant teens have been sexually abused
More than ninety percent of abusers are people that children know, love and trust
There are more than thirty nine million sexual abuse survivors in America… most never tell.”
I know some might be thinking well, this is America not Malawi, if you thought this just don’t, I used this because there is no statistic whatsoever on how much sexual abuse happens in Malawi, Why? because we refuse to talk about it, we refuse to face the reality that this is really happening and it might even be happening in your backyard. Well, you know us refusing to talk about sexual abuse doesn’t stop it from happening, it happens and sadly when people do speak out the attention goes to the abuser not the abused. The victim is told not to talk about this, to just forget about this, like how do you expect someone to forget such a traumatic experience? how do you even begin to live with hopelessness?
Json’s part 1 of secrets has a part that says “…Holding back cries my mind is racing/ Closed eyes like I’ve not awaken/ I’d rather die than be in tho situation/ As he leaves I knew this secret I’d bury and hide/But hiding this secret I just seem to be buried alive/…” like, that is something that is going on in the mind of the victim, and you add to that by saying; well, this never happened, or it was your fault it happened? The victim prefers death to going through life with this secret, honey we need to do something to help.
Okay Json’s part 2 is written from another persons perspective, the husband of a woman who has been abused, it has this part “Helplessness is such a sad feeling/ one flesh I feel what my other half’s feeling/ a second victim but listen/…know what its like?/to look the love of your life inside of her face and all you seeing is hopelessness/ wanna kiss her, touch her, hug her, but the/most intimate moments just remind her of brokenness/ I feel so pushed away…when the pains so deep I’m starting to think I can taste it/ hurts the more I’m concealing it/ hearing these christian slogans nobody knows what I’m dealing with/” Now if the second victim feels pain so deep that he thinks he can even taste it, what then is the first victim feeling?
Well, I love our culture but it leaves a lot to be desired, am sick and tired of people justifying abuse of any kind, sexual, physical and emotional. There are a lot of young people who have gone through abuse, and are dealing with the shame that comes with it, thinking something must be wrong with them to have this happen to them, the trauma, the pain, the questions of why this really happened? and the weight of keeping a secret? This is something that they will carry as long as they live, this will alter how they relate to the opposite sex, how they feel about themselves and others, how they behave. One day they will want to be good mothers and wives, what kind of spouses are they going to be when they have so much hurt, pain and betrayal in their life? how will they protect someone when they feel unsafe? How in the world will they love when love seems far off reach?
My friends and I think it is our responsibility to reach out, we all are where we are today because someone helped us to overcome something that we were struggling with. We think its very important that we should start talking about issues like abuse, we should start being agents of hope, we should show love, we should be the shoulder to lean on, ears to listen, the arms that provide a comforting hug, we should make a difference. Most of you do not know but I was once a bent baby but God has helped me and I want help other bent babies. Join us and be part of this change; one story at a time; and then, change the world.