Broken?? Or Better?

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We get a lot out of life. We get love and laughs, we make memories and we relive them sometimes yet other times there are just there as memories. The sad truth about life is that we fall more times than once. I wish we had control over what happens or what turns out in our lives altogether. But truth is, we never created ourselves so we sadly do not have any control. Loss hurts, it is the time when you are separated from what you know and what you always knew. its when the sacred  is torn from your life. I wanna talk about the pain of a relationship breakup, a romantic relationship. I am going through one right now, an ugly one. 

You spend so much time with someone and you think you know them. You think one day you will walk down the aisle and this will be the person waiting right down there to say the vows and finally say I do. Your life is going great, you have found a soul mate a best friend, someone who would do anything for you and you wouldn’t hesitate to give the whole world to them – every bit and piece of your whole world. But guess what?? Heaven has other plans. You hit a rough patch, and as Chris Lee Cobbins calls it in his song Twitter Love” you reach irreconcilable differences, and you can’t be together anymore. You say goodbyes, the person who gave you so much to live for or to remember is now just one of the people you know and see, like Gotye sang they are now just somebody you used to know. Now either both of you are broken or one is more broken than the other. But you both need to heal to let go and to move on. Truth is you really want to move on, you wanna let it all go but reality is it takes time, something that you do not have because you want the pain gone all of it at the same time. You wanna trade lives with someone and not feel the pain. You want to forget and be fine but you can’t, you need to go through this slow process of healing and like me you are not sure you have the patience or the strength. Yes it really does get better with time but time is really one of the things you can’t stand through the pain. The hours drag to turn into days, and the days are just long and seem like they are never going to turn into weeks. Will you ever get to months or a year? it seems you have been here forever and you are not healing.

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The healing journey begins and it is slow. your life changes, a change you were not prepared for, I am talking about the nasty side of a breakup when the other person feels justfied to throw any hurt or mean word at you. When he tells people of what a terrible person you are and just how much you have broken them and screwed their lives up. You are broken and now you have people and this person who gave you so much to live for just tainting you black. You start to believe that maybe you are a bad person, and that hurts. You loathe the thought that this person will meet someone who will give them so much to live for and you will be the example of what not to date or to be with, after all you are the one who broke it off. You are the one who walked away, so you don’t have any right to feel any pain because that is what you wanted. You hurt so much. You give up everything you know and love to get better, but better seems like its just eluding you.

When you get here, you really need to stop, not to regroup but to realize that there is a God who let all this happen. A God who will catch you when you fall. The pain won’t go but God knows what He is doing. You will have to stop looking at the other person, and look at you, become very sensitive to what God is doing in your life. You need to realize that God chose you for a purpose and just lean on him, knowing he is God and he is in Control. be honest with him tell him how you feel. tell him how you never wanna hurt anymore.

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He wont take away the pain, No. He will hold your hand, shield you in the shadow of His wings. Yes the hurting will be there, but God will show you what He is doing and where He is taking you. He will give you so much love and grace to take you through. The brokenness will look so beautiful and you will come out a victory and a very beautiful tapestry. He knows why He let you go through all that pain and one day you will know and realize that too. But it won’t be easy. But I would rather go through it with God than on my own because He makes things beautiful.

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Just trust Him as I am and He is really healing me and helping me. Being broken and in God’s hands means you are in better hands and He will do as he says.

Natalie Grant, In Better Hands’

It’s hard to stand
On shifting sand
It’s hard to shine
In the shadows of the night
You can’t be free
If you don’t reach for help
And you can’t love
If you don’t love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out…
Cause I’m in better hands now

[Chorus:]
It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin’ down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt
I’m in better hands now

I am strong
All because of you
I stand in awe of
Every mountain that you move
For I am changed
Yesterday is gone
I am safe
From this moment on…
And there’s no fear when the night comes ’round
I’m in better hands now

[Chorus:]
It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin’ down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt
I’m in better hands now

It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin’ down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
It’s like the world is silent
Though I know it isn’t true
It’s like the breath of Jesus
Is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt

I’m in better hands now
I’m in better hands now

God Bless You and Heal You.

 

 

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